Truth & Lie

" A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on " >> Winston Churchill ( 1874-1965 )

Amrit Kaur

Truth

"Whenever you have the truth it must be given with love, or the message or messenger will be rejected" >> Mahatma Ghandi ( 1869-1948 )

Amrit Kaur

"When I see you smile and I know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most"

I'll miss you alot! ='(

Amrit Kaur

The end of the World in 2012? :s

End of the world! end of the world! Tell me, is it for REAL?? :S

The movie was good. BUT definately very dragy. I mean for an english movie and 2 hours n 40 minutes!! Have they gone CRAZY!! Thats like hindi movie but WITHOUT dance and songs :-/ .. But nevertheless, the movie was good. A combination of scary, funny, and also DAMN..

This is something i'd like to share on what happened in the cinema while I was watching this movie. One lady beside me, at the scene where the people were dying because of all the tsunami n earthquake this lady would loudly say this "oh no no.. jangan!! Go that side!! GOOO!!".. hahaha.. and then the ending where they were save, this lady beside me said "Oh YES!! Thank God!! Scared the hell out of me!!"

While getting bored at the last half an hour of the movie, this lady made it interesting for me!! =)

Amrit Kaur

Yesterday, I was one of the earliest to watch the movie 2012. The movie took around two and a half hour to finish. Watching about a movie that talks about end of the world just rings the bell to me saying that I should actually value my life. After all, according to Mayan’s calendar, we only have three years left to live. That is why we should value our lives every moment.

When we were having a so called presentation for human communication for three minutes, one of my friends actually talk about what she will do if she is going to die. Well, for me, I really want to do all those extreme sports that you can find in the world. One of it will be bungee jumping and even sky diving. Other than that, I would also like to confess to a guy that I have been in love with him for almost two years. I will go to Venice in Italy to enjoy the most breathtaking architecture buildings in the world and not to forget, the most romantic place to go to. Besides, I will really hope that I could give a hand to the unfortunate ones. For me, seeing them lighting up for all those contributions that I did will eventually give me a priceless happiness that everyone wish for.

In all, if were to die on the 21st of December 2012, I will definitely do everything I could to make the best out of it. But let us just all pray for hope that this tragic natural disaster will never occur.


So cheers,
Chan Kah Mun

Trust!!

TRUST is a very small yet strong word. Without the trust of our family, friends and companion towards us, we are seriously nothing and noone at all. It takes years to build up trust and only seconds to ruin it.

Therefore, always ensure you don't hurt anyone intentionally or even unintentionally because when the trust is broken, it hurts deep deep down.

I did not break anyone's trust for myself, but someone whom I've known for 6 years have lost the trust I had on the person. Apology might solve the at the moment situation but the scar it left is deep =(

Amrit Kaur

Anger Anger Anger!!!

Ever heard of this, "For every minute your angry, you lose sixty second of happiness"...??

BUT what do we do when something really irratating or something we just can't handle is happening to us??

Like for an example: You do all you can to make your family proud of you BESIDES studying I mean. But when ONE bad thing happens, like maybe you "forgot" to pick the laundry or you got the order of the food wrongly or even if you came home an hour later than you're supposed to, THEY FORGET THE GOOD THINGS YOU HAVE DONE..How do we control our anger emotions THEN??

What's the MOST we ask for? Appreciation! BUT nooooo..

Life is Good but the people around us makes it hell. For ME atleast!

Amrit Kaur

Thanks!

I just had a fight with a friend like 40 mins ago.
its jus a quarrel we had about somthing reli small
but i wasnt reli in the mood to take crap from anyone
so i jus snapped n shoved him off..
its reli not wat i would do but i was pissed..
so i gav it a thought and after 20 mins,
i apologised and we made up :0
haha.. thx bro for forgiving me!

RACIST? DON BE!!!!

Our country has been rich in culture ever since British brought Chinese and Indians down to Malaya which is now known as Malaysia. Since then, all races have been fighting for rights and equality throughout these years. Fortunately, after all the terms that had been agreed upon, now, our country is a peaceful and harmony country to live in.

It is undeniable that some of us are still racist till these days and of course we do not say it out loud. When I was in secondary school, it can be said that I was one of those who have multi-racial friends. My school is actually monopolise by most Chinese followed by Indians then Malays. But I do not stereotyped with only one race like most people do. But there is one thing that I just couldn't stand hearing someone saying ' Indians' hair are smelly or why are you not mixing with the Chinese, you don't have Chinese friends is it?' (Individual racism)

I am just so shock to hear that. How can they say that Indians' hair are smelly? That is just so rude! Again and again I have to explain that Indians' hair are NOT naturally smelly, they just put some kind of oil on their hair which they must do it everyday. I don't have problems with them with their hair or skin colour or anything else. But is their personalities that I'm interested at. Most of them are just ridiculously funny and really helpful. Furthermore, I mix with Indians and Malays, it doesn't mean I do not have Chinese friends or Chinese friends do not want to make friends with me, I have a whole lot of friends to choose from.


It is unfortunately for people to actually stereotyped and only make friends with one race. They should mix around more with other races because we can learn their culture differences and of course the best, their languages!

Poithe vange (goodbye in tamil)

Yours sincerely,
Chan Kah Mun

Exam stress!

Have any of you the thing called "exam stress" ?! Like OBVIOUSLY right :)

But have any of you thought that, all this stress in merely in our minds and ONLY if we think about more, we tend to feel the pressure more?! I know! "WHO would ever think of calm-ing themselves down especially during exams!!

Here are few tips. I use them myself. Sharing is caring =) So HERE...
i) Spend time with people who give you POSITIVE effect.. You will receive the positive aura!
ii) Avoid thinking " Everyone seems cool.. Why am I struggling? =( " THINK POSITIVE!!! you ARE ready for the exams!!
iii) Take a quiet walk by yourself in the evening(one day before your exams ONCE you have studied through all your necessary topics)
iv) Pray Pray Pray !!!! NOT just when your exams are close, but everyday, BELIEVE in God! because when you believe, HE WILL help you! Its all in the faith towards Him.
v) DO NOT discuss the paper after your done because IN CASE your friend has a different answer, you might doubt yourself and then again your putting yourself in that deep hole which you've digged.

NOW..follow these 4 steps and trust me you will be feeling good BEFORE & AFTER every exam papers you sit for.

All the best for your FINALS NOW!!! =)=)

Amrit Kaur

Dilemma

so here i was checking my email
when i ran into an email sent by my mom! shocked me to max!
the email was about my dad's email to my cousin sister who is currently staying in england
she was kinda close to me when i was young
and now she got married and gave birth to a child in england
i heard from my mom that she is suffering from postpartum depression
and i was stunned as she is the brightest and cheerful woman i have ever met
always with a smile, she is also the smartest woman i have ever known, with 3 degrees and 2 masters!
i have never expected that she would suffer depression.
so here is the dilemma
my mom sent me this email because she is asked about me in the email.
and wanted me to know that she is available if i have any questions about college life or anything at all
so my mom had forced me to email her..
so should i email her?
what should i say?

Ian @@

R.I.P

Few days ago, I was at the hospital seeing my grandfather's heartbeat rate slowly decreasing..
He was already in the unconscious state 2 days before this happened.
He is 84 this year, and he went for a risky operation to take out a tumor which is believed to have caused cancer.
Making the decision on whether he should have gone for the operation is a very tough decision..

Choice 1 : Undergo the operation and take a very high risk..
Choice 2 : Wait approximately 2 years for the tumor to expand and cause him to suffer everyday after some time. (Well, least we had 2 more years with him)

Whatever it is, it was choice 1 that was decided.
And, apparently, choice 1 was too risky...
Therefore, he passed away..

I attended the funeral which only ended this morning..
*barely had enough time to study for PR*
These few days, I see alot of people crying and mourning over his death..
My grandfather is a great man, he helped alot of people in the past and it has paid off..
ALOT, Yes, ALOT of his old friends, far distance relatives came for the ceremony just to pay their last respect to him.

Everyone in the family, teared over his death, and the only one who did not cry was ...
Me...
Maybe I am just a bad boy lol... Nah..
It's just the way I think is a little different from what others think at that moment..

I would want him to go.. I wouldn't wanna see him suffer for the next few years, crying out in pain, living a miserable life just for the sake of living.
I feel he is much happier now in his new "world"..
85 years of age is hard to reach, and reaching there is something to be proud of..
Lastly, I don't want him to see us all sad over his death..
I am sure he would want us to be happy always.

So..
Rest In Peace Grandfather.
May u live happier with ur new "life"

Education is Important

" If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else "--Yogi Berra

In life you need to know your purpose of where you are heading to. Parents will not forever hold your hands in life. At one point in life, you would be living in this nasty world all by yourself and going through all those painful and hard times by yourself. Therefore NOW you should atleast know your main priority is only education. Without education, you are nothing. Study hard guys! All the best in your life =)

Amrit Kaur

Friendship =)

' A friend is the one who knows all about you, and still likes you' -- Fr. Jerome Cummings

This is like so true! Those who have seen you in your best suit and also in your worst suit AND are still there holding your hands and laughing this journey through together are the one's whom you could be assured to be there walking every mountain and crossing every sea with you even if it sounds ridiculous!

It's good to have friends like these. I do I know=) (Not one but 3!!)

Amrit Kaur

Friends or Foe?

A friend of mine have been complaining about a mutual friend's behaviour...
and it got serious one day..
he almost lost his patience and wanted to just punch her to shut her up..
somehow he managed to control his temper and just ignored her..
i'm not really sure about what happened later and if they still hang out
but what i wanna say is that sometimes friends can change from ally to foe..
so just open your eyes and evaluate the situation before you manage to get your ass kicked..

just today, a friend of mine asked for my help..
and i was like "F*** U!"
why would i want to help him? when he showed me his temper to me for asking "are you ok?"
i've been helping him too much and he starts to take me for granted..
he needs to realize that i'm not a servant
so i rejected a simple request, that he asked thro the phone..
altho he did not scolded me or anything but he paused..
and said "i'm trying not to F U now.."
so i immediately stop talking n just put down the phone..
later another friend calls and says "hey! did ___ called u?"
i said "yes" and he said "i dun like him"
shocking?! change your attitude before you get hated!

Ian, damn pissed..

communication is not as easy as it seems...

There are actually two ways to communicate which is verbal and non-verbal. What I am I going to talk about today is eye communication which is one of the non-verbal communication.

Well, the messages communicated by the eyes diverge depending on the direction, duration and quality of the eye behaviour. For example, the duration that we can look into one’s eye must not exceed 2.95 seconds. If we exceed the duration, we are considered rude or showing high interest or even hostility. However, for some other culture like the Japanese culture, they must not have eye contact with someone who is more superior or elder. Moreover, when eye contact falls short of 1.18 seconds, some cultures may think the person is uninterested, timid or preoccupied.

But what if we just cannot focus on the speaker even though we are actually listening to them? Well, I do actually face this kind of problem. I just could not keep eye contact with the speaker for long. There is people actually who come up to me and tell me whether I am still listening to them or did I lose interest in their conversation. I mean, I know that making eye contact is vital but it is not as easy as you think. Imagine yourself making eye contact with someone who talks for at least 10 minutes talking about his or her problem and they actually expect you to give eye contact and keep track on their conversation for that 10 minutes. It’s tough, really tough for me. I mean I can only listen to them how long they want me to but the eye contact, that’s impossible.

So, for those out there who actually think that having eye contact is easy, good for you but for me, I have to brush up in my non-verbal communication. Because without a perfect eye contact, people will actually think that I do not respect them and those respect will not return if I continue to behave in that circumstances.

Yours truly,
Chan Kah Mun

Hey, how are you? "I'm fine" Hey, What are you doing? "Nothing"

How do you feel when someone you're talking to answers your questions with 2 words or less?
Do you feel like not going on with the conversation or rather frustrated?
Alot of people do that, sometimes, say... when they're feeling sad/depressed/emotional..
I do admit I do that sometimes it's not even funny eh? lol
After some personal problems that happened to me, I started to avoid doing that.
Well, It isn't a healthy thing to do actually

If you do that, you're not giving any cue to the other party to reply you.
Sometimes, you will just cause people to be somehow speechless..
Also, that's not very friendly anyway..

Conversations between people is very crucial in Life.
You can learn ALOT from others, even more from what we learn from highschool/college/university.

People do feel happier talking to a person if they enhance the conversation.
Laughs/smiles/giggles are another sign of you making the conversation interesting!

Good luck in Life guys.!


-Ga Weng-

Interpersonal "love" relationships

I have had many different relationship with different guys in my life. Some were just friends, some made a big impact in my life and some were just the hi bye friends. Ill talk about the ones who made an impact in my life. I wouldnt call them "friends" because I did not take them that way. The "so called" LOVE relationships is what I mean.

Eros love? I have never experienced having that kind of guy in my life.

Ludic love? Oh YEAH!! Not one but 2 !! They both never actually wanted me NOW(as in 2 years back) I know! I mean it's not like I became less interesting or some sort. But the fact was that the relationship was going on too LONG and they needed more to explore on so they cheated me. And FORTUNATELY I found out=) Today i think back of the past and Im very very thankful they actually did that to me. Because who would think whats right and wrong? Who is the right and wrong person in your life to walk down the journey together at the age of 18??!!! Those would all be puppy love! Some relationships do last I agree but that is like 10% out of the rest?

Storge love? Yeah:) Before me and my male best friend actually became real close, we were ALMOST in the stage of getting together till we sat and spoke and realised between us two nothing CAN actually happen. He feels comfortable talking to me and telling me his problems. So do I. But the attraction in seeing him as a life partner is just not there. Our bond as best friends can just NOT change. NEVER.

Pragma lover? =)=) The current relationship I am in now I would say. Everthing is good on the basis of family and background. I wouldnt say it is entirely pragma. But some combination of manic lover on his side does exist. No jealousy but at times when I speak to much to one party, he would be ABIT upset. So that would mean manic right?!( Who cares! atleast he cares that means!=) )

Agapic lover? hahaha...NAHHH.. me trying to be like Mahathma Ghandhi or even Mother Teressa..nope!


Amrit Kaur

What is friendship?

what does a real friendship actually means?
as u guys know, i lost a friend recently.. and i had been reminiscing about him alot..
so i wondered what does a real friendship has to have?
- the moments that we cherish 4ever?
- the bond we have?
- the sweet talk we do?
- the jokes we share?
- the similar thoughts we share?
- the attributes we like about each other?
- the things we share?
this were some of the things i did not get to share with him..
i only got to know him for 2 yrs.. and we weren't as close as we shud have been..
and i deeply regret not knowin him any better..
i have been hanging out alot with my friends these days.
and i hope i do not have to regret again..

Ian :(

No Gunnysack-ers please..

Oh em gee~
Please guys,
if you were not satisfied/happy with something
kindly voice it out
Don't ever keep it to yourself
and end up behaving like a gunnysack
-hide everything( griefs and disappointments) and later on, explode like a C4

I was once caught in this conflict
where 2 of my friends were arguing and
(Let's name my friend, D)
D was a very passive person and he don't really talk much
His patience was freaking high and he accepted every criticism
and showed nothing on his face.

We always thought that he was all fine with it
until one day, when Z(another friend) provoked him with one of his embarrassed moments
D warned him not to continue yet Z was being stupid to tease him even more
D got frustrated and bombed like a C4
All of us got shocked and these were our expressions >>


<< When he banged the table and started giving us the fierce "Look"




<< When he started scolding all of us >.<


Then later on, D just stormed off..leaving us in gaze and shocked
A day of not talking, he came to us and apologized
Well, we did forgave him for sure
He's a nice guy, except for the moment where he exploded>.<

So, in conclusion
Being a gunnysack-er is good at times,but not always
It may get you insane one day
and exploded for who knows why>.<

Love,
Yin Jun

Friendships that I cherished till the end

I had this bunch of friends,
True friends
whom I did not meet in the beginning of my college life,
but in the last semester of mine.
Some of them are in their third semester too
and there's a couple of them who are in their first semester.

To be frank,
I did not know how suddenly I got so close with them
It just happened in a glimpse of time
All of a sudden, from a stranger relationship to close friends
Let's take it as a "Miracle okay?

Within these weeks time,
I felt very comfortable with them and they are always there for me
We did crazy stuffs together
Laugh together
Chill together
Listening to each other's stories and problems
Solving problems together
I would classified this friendship under the category of Friendship of Reciprocity
To those who does not familiarize with this term,
You're so dead~
Midterms is just right around the corner XD

Coming back from red-herring,
They belong to those who are loyal, self-sacrifice and generous.
I remember self disclosing to this guy,
who my secrets are very safe with him
He talked to me for quite sometime
and I felt totally relieved after expressing my thoughts
He ain't that bias maybe because he's facing what I am facing as well
It's easy for both of us to be empathy towards each other
and I'm grateful for his patience and understanding towards me.

This friendship of mine, will I always cherish as :

They were there for me when I felt down
They were there for me when I fell
They were there for me when I felt weak
They were there for me when I'm going insane
They were there for me when I need a person to talk to
They were there for me when I got all stressed out and sick

and lastly,
They were there for me just to make me smile and laugh again.

What else can I wished for?

To that particular guy, who knew almost 95% of my secrets,
thanks and I will only reveal the another 5% of my secret when I got it clarified.

" Friends know the songs in my heart and sing them to me when my memory fails."

Sincerely,
Yin Jun

Conflict conflict conflict!! :S

Conflict is the ONE thing that happens in everyones life. Even if you don't like it, you have to bear with it because you have no control over it. Maybe YOU might have the control not to create a conflict in any situation but the other person or situation might have no control over it.
I HATE conflicts! Especially when it's a relational conflict. Despite me HATING it, i think it happens MORE than I can ever imagine. Maybe that's why!

Relational conflict starts small. It's almost like buring your old newspapers! It's starts small and when you disturb it more n more, the fire just keeps increasing and before you know it, your papers have became ashes now!

Im speaking about the parents-child conflict. Although it IS true when they say, we are only saying it for your own good or it's because we love and care about you, I honestly just don't get it! I mean ok to a certain extend they control us. But until WHEN? Morover it's not like we go against them by smoking or drinking and parting late nights everyday or even taking drugs! When we do none of that, arn't we suppose to be the good obedient kids whom you can trust?!

Yes I AGREE they care about us! and yes I agree, if anything were to happen, family are the ONLY people you can fall back upon. BUT, all we are asking is just a little amount of freedom arn't we? Im sure there are many out there who goes through this parental controlling situation. When the situation goes out of hand and uncontrollable for the kids, temper starts to rise and conflict happens.

Why can't it just be a win-win situation where I have my freedom but I use it wisely. Isn't that a good win-win?! Why does it always have to be a LOOSE-WIN???!!!! If your under 20 years and your parents control you, its reasonable. Your still a kid! FINE! BUT what if your 21 and above! WORST if your 25 and you have to be back home before dinner at 8.30pm? I mean like, where is the logic to THAT?!!

Because of all this minor stuff, conflicts happen! And have any of us ever wondered WHY do people commit suicide? When all these minor problems, not only relational but even other minor stuff that they have no control on, gets worst day by day, year after year, these people go under a severe depression and then it take them only one minute to commit suicide. Taking your life away is not something easy to do. Try cutting your wrist when your sad! You won't be able to do it. It's takes major problems in life for someone to have the courage to do that. And these major problems, starts with the minor ones.

Stop creating problems for each and other! It's the one and only thing you could do! Be nice! =)

Amrit Kaur

Family is actually one of the interpersonal relationship types. Believe it or not, families are the one that will be with you no matter what. They will always support you no matter what you have done. Even you had done something so wrong that you thought that your family will not want you. Fortunately, most families will always be a shoulder for you to cry on, to support you or to pick you up when you fall, be your listener and even your personal counsellor. Isn’t that great?

Well, some of you might not agree with me because you might say that they are your barriers to your freedom. They wouldn’t let you do this or that. But they are doing this for your own good. You might hear that pretty often but it is really true. Actually, when your parents do not really care about you, they don’t care where you’re going, what you’re doing, who are you going out with, and even what time you’re coming back home. Family or parent might be a control freak, but whose parents aren’t.

Besides, families are our best friends since birth. They know you so well from top to bottom, a to z. They may not tell you or they may not know how to express their feelings towards you but there is one thing I am really sure of which is they will always love and accept you for who you are. Therefore, appreciate your parents for whatever they had done for you even they might not do it in your way but the things they had done for you will always turn out to be the best for you. So cheers, from now on, treat your parent right even if they are a little nasty sometimes.


Yours truly,
Chan Kah Mun

Family

Family is actually one of the interpersonal relationship types. Believe it or not, families are the one that will be with you no matter what. They will always support you no matter what you have done. Even you had done something so wrong that you thought that your family will not want you. Fortunately, most families will always be a shoulder for you to cry on, to support you or to pick you up when you fall, be your listener and even your personal counsellor. Isn’t that great?

Well, some of you might not agree with me because you might say that they are your barriers to your freedom. They wouldn’t let you do this or that. But they are doing this for your own good. You might hear that pretty often but it is really true. Actually, when your parents do not really care about you, they don’t care where you’re going, what you’re doing, who are you going out with, and even what time you’re coming back home. Family or parent might be a control freak, but whose parents aren’t.

Besides, families are our best friends since birth. They know you so well from top to bottom, a to z. They may not tell you or they may not know how to express their feelings towards you but there is one thing I am really sure of which is they will always love and accept you for who you are. Therefore, appreciate your parents for whatever they had done for you even they might not do it in your way but the things they had done for you will always turn out to be the best for you. So cheers, from now on, treat your parent right even if they are a little nasty sometimes.


Yours truly,
Chan Kah Mun

True Friendship

Friendship is a word that has a preety DEEP meaning. A friend can be just about a random person you meet, a person in the same class as you are, same college as you are, or the BEST FRIEND that you have.

Not all this kind of friends are to be trusted entirely. I sometimes wonder but never questioned that why do certain people have like 6-7 BEST friends? I mean are all those 6-7 people trustworthy? Anyways im not questioning. Just curious :)

I have 1 BEST friends to whom I can share ANYTHING! Its a friendship of reciprocity. A very balanced friendship where we understand each other entirely, touchwood we've been friends for 8 years now and we have never fought! TOUCHWOOD! We speak in all sorts of ways that this sometimes makes our other friends wonder if we are fighting or are we just communicating? The friendship between me n her is so strong that ONCE! just once!, another friend of MINE actually tried her best polluting my mind and saying stuff like "Do you know what she did that day?" and stuff like that. I never believed ofcourse! Because like I said, we shared EVERYTHING! All I told this OTHER girl is, "look! If you've got nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all!" YES it's a dalai lama line. BUT it's true. Why would you speak something BAD about someone when that someone did no harm to you! Weird people! sigh!

Anyways, yeah! =)

Amrit Kaur

An Early Shock!

I got up at 12 today..
and i was given one of the biggest shock of my life..
a dear friend of mine has passed away..
the news hit me with a wave bullets..
the emptiness and sadness that my heart felt can't be explained..
he was always bright and would put a smile on me anytime..
our group gathering would never be the same without him..
right now.. all i can say about me is that i serious stunned..
i can't believe that a brother would leave my life so early..
our big family lost a brother and we are all very sad..
we'll definitely miss him dearly..
Rest Well, Jcen Wey!

Ian :`(

Disconfirmation Rox =3

You guys must be wondering why I supported disconfirmation..
Let me clarify the title of the post.

Why do I support disconfirmation?

There are reasons for me to support my own point of view. Firstly, I knew pretty well about my own communication style. I am an aggressive communicator. I am brutally honest and if you were to tell me things that I strongly disagree or things that provoked me, I will definitely fire you back with mean words.In this context, I did not mean by firing vulgar words straight on your face. I would simply get things straight, and I don't care if my words would kill or not as long as I get you straight to the point and that's it. So, I guess it's better to disconfirm rather than creating havocs.

Secondly, if someone disclose their problems to me, I would loved to make decision for him/her. I don't really like to be in a situation where it required me to watch my friends got stuck in between a yes-no event. That situation really annoyed me ALOT. What will I do? Of course I would advise my friends and strongly influence them to take actions with logical reasoning and not solely based on personal opinions nor assumptions which is not credible at all.

Thirdly, it is common for me to participate in a win-lose situations for most of the time. I am willing to debate with any of my friends just to prove that I am in the winning side. In this area, I did not particularly be too forceful towards my friends because it's simply hurtful. I would use nice words to make them realized that what I'm saying is facts and I have evidences to prove that I am at the right party.

The most important thing is, even thought I am stuck in a "debate" or better known as an argument,with a friend of mine, I will ALWAYS stick to the truth despite knowing that the truth is always ugly and mean. Come to think about it, who would love to make things worst (like adding spices into the story) when it comes to an argument and when everything is as clear as crystal, you're so doomed ? It's not wrong admiting that I am aggressive at communications when this is the way I am.

Yours Truly,
Yin Jun

Non-Verbal Communications=D

We all know that while we communicate,
there is always the presence of verbal as well as nonverbal communication

So, what is the function of nonverbal communication?
I will not follow what the text book says..
cause it is kinda boring><
Let me interpret the 3 most important function of nonverbal communication based on my point of view =D

The functions are :

a. To form and manage our impressions

Yea yea..like words, our nonverbal communication says it all
It is just like the analogy of "Actions Speak Louder Than Words"
Ahem..Let me give you an example :
I'm so sorry to all the guys here..I'll be gender bias for a moment =D

* You happened to see a cute and hawt dude smiling and waving to you *
What will your impression towards him be?

" Oh em gee...He's hawt and polite!!"
-Or-

"What a bastard, you think your smile works on me?"

*You happened to stare at a guy and too bad,he noticed you staring at him..a moment later, he showed you his middle finger.*

How will you judge him?

"What a sick bastard" Or " Oh my god..he's hawt"


b. To form and define relationship

Nonverbal communication in a relationship rocks to the max =D
In a relationship, nonverbal communications exist in various ways
For instance, holding hands, staring at each other, hugging, kissing, cuddling ectera
and to be honest,
I can just sit down and stare at the guy I loved for hours LoL
Apart from that, these communication style defines how the level of closeness between you and your partner or friends.
You will never let a stranger touch you, ay?
Normal friends will never touch you like your partner did right?=D

c. Emotional Expression

I'm sure that some of your friends could guess your mood based on your facial expression
Theoretically,
whenever we are sad or happy or whatever, our faces write it all-_-
For instance, when you are sad
You will never go around smiling like a fool
and when you are happy,
you will never go around showing your sad face.
For me,
If I am happy, I will be energetic
and when I'm in deep thoughts,
I'll give you the blur-est expression while talking to you
and when I am angry,
Har har har..
I'll be extremely quiet and
you better leave me alone
cause I'll be giving you the deadly stare and if you provoked me more
I'm gonna shoot you from head to toe =D

That's the 3 most important function of nonverbal communication,based on Yin Jun's text book =P

That's all for now~

Sincerely,
Yin Jun

love love LOVE....

Do you believe in love in first sight? Well, this is very subjective. And as for me, i used to believe it. But when I am experiencing it, I wish i had never met him at all. I mean what was I thinking, loving a guy who i barely know and just fall for him just because he looks so handsome. How foolish I was?

Let's name him 'Ass' shall we? Ass and I met through a mutual friend. At that time it was during school holidays. My friends and I were going for ice skating at Sunway Pyramid and that was the very first time that I met him. For the first time I look at him, I fall for him, I never actually thought i could fall for a guy on the first sight. I was totally all over him. i couldn't take my eyes off him. Not even for a second.

Among all my friends, Ass and I are the only one who know how to skate. So both of us held our hands together and skate. At that moment, I was all over the moon. It was the very first time that i actually hold a guy's hand. I was actually smiling like a fool throughtout the day.

After months knowing him and getting closer to him, our relationship was getting stronger. We were going out almost every weekend and I finally get to know the bad side of him but I ignore it. I mean come on, love is blind right? All I could see is the bright side of him only. Even my friends told me not to mix too much with him. But i ignore them although I know they were right.

One day, I was hanging out with my classmate and suddenly I saw 'Ass' with other girl and I notice that they are actually an item. What the HELL! After all the hint, after all the flowery words, after all the 'I love you', and after all the bullshit that I had gotten from him. I am just so dumb. I got fooled.

I got a little nuts on that day. Not knowing how to react to it. Until I know I couldn't take it anymore, tears roll down my cheeks for hours and even for days. I hate him so much!

From that day onwards, I will never ever believe 'love at first sight' again! But again, it's subjective. This is my view on love at first sight.

*cheers*

Yours truly,

Chan Kah Mun

Love at 'First Sight"? :S

As we spoke about love at frist sight in class. My stand on "Love at First Sight" is a definate NO it does not happen.

Alright yes some people do go on first dates and they seem to like the person they meet there. But have anyone ever wondered, how MUCH of a person can you know from a 2-3 hours meeting at a coffee shop?Most likely 5% of the individual?YES!

What I feel those who say they liked the person from love at first sight I would say is they were attracted to the partners appearance at FIRST SIGHT! It's not a bad thing. But LOVE doesnt just pop out of the blues like that! It takes years of getting to know the person only then LOVE comes.

Another matter that have disturbed me alot of times were the fact that when one is in a relationship, why do they use those 3 wonderful words very EASILY? The " I Love You " ?

I've seen many people including the relationships I myself have had. Those words I Love You seems to be misused very often. By a week of meeting the person, you have fallen in LOVE?

My opinion is, it takes many months and YEARS to actually know the person's personality fully!Not weeks and definately not at FIRST SIGHT! =)

However, I would never argue with those who say yes they have loved their partners at first sight. It's their individual perception on it. BUT if they say they LOVE the person within few days of the relationship,NEVER!

Amrit Kaur

Open Up?

Recently a close friend of mine opened up to me..
After 8 years of friendship, i felt that i knew him better in the short 2 hours chat than i have even knew..
I've never knew how he felt all this time and it shocks me..
Have i been so ignorant for this whole time?
The little jokes we use to share doesn't feel the same anymore..
The relationship we had is much stronger than ever..
The trust we have is unbreakable
So, My dear friends.. Open UP!! If i'm doing anything wrong, please tell me.
I apologise if i really did anything bad/wrong to you..
I have no bad intentions to anyone.. I only want friends not enemies nor enemy!
This world is filled with too much hatred and too little love..
Share Your Love!

Ian :)

How to deal with Problems?

As the class spoke about this topic in class. I wouldnt say when anyone goes through a break up they undergo "depression". Depression is like a BIG word to say. Those who go through depression have serious illness like, having sleepless nights or even eating disorders. They do nothing but continuously be in their own world.

Im not saying break up's are easy. They are definately very very painful. Especially if you have loved your partner unconditionally and you get cheated in the end.

Ok, some of us might have been in a relationship for less than a week or maybe no more than 2 weeks. Have we? I have =) Through experience of going through the pain, this definately works!

Get a picture of the guy/girl who has cheated you. If you don't hav a picture it's fine, you could even write his/her name on a piece of paper. Then you know what? BURN IT! sounds crazy?! Crazy is FUN=) TRUST me. BURN IT. While burning it, think of all the painful stuff they have done to you, and you will feel relieved!

This doesnt only apply for a guy girl relationship. Even if a friend has done something really bad like maybe when you self-disclosed to him/her and they spread it out to everyone. DO THIS. Same thoughts while doing it. You will feel much better after doing so.

It's just a way of dealing with troubles in life. I do it =)


Amrit Kaur

Human Mind Is So Complicated.

People do things that turns out regretting in the end.
Why people why?
Well have YOU done something that you regretted in the end?
I have.
Sometimes, things that we do, which we all think that it would be for a better sake might turn out horribly wrong.
Don't regret our actions becuz what's done is done...
What's the point regretting right?
Move on with life.. In the end, we all have to make a decision..

Other than that, misunderstandings causes alot.. I mean alot of conflict....
These few days so many misunderstandings have been going on in my life...
Somestimes, I just wish that I could tell some people what I really feel and judge me after that..


-Aiden Yau Ga Weng- ^^

Think before YOU act.

I have this friend..
He fell in love, like very in love.
He told me he thinks about her everyday, every second and so on so forth..
Sigh..
He claims that the girl is very different from any other girl in this world.

He wants to get into the relationship, but he also though about other issues like whether he will actually commit in the relationship or not.
Other than that, he is also afraid of making the first move which is to talk to her.
Well he did, he knocked on the window of a class and asked her for her number.
She just smiled and gave the "no" expression..
Well he was sad, sad until he starts singing love songs in the car.

What I am trying to say is, Do not rush things, think before you act and make sure there are no misunderstandings at all between you and your friends etc etc.

-Aiden Yau Ga Weng-
*cheers*

Kah Mun? Carmen? Huh?

Have you ever had someone who has the same name or the same pronunciation like yours? Well, I do and I’m apparently sick and tired of it. Kah mun or Carmen it doesn’t matter to me anymore because I acknowledge to both. The worst thing is that my name is just so unbelievably common. Believe it or not, every year I will always have at least another ‘Carmen’ in my class. Well, apparently there’s another ‘Carmen’ in my human communication class. The funny thing is that Mr. Murali (my human communication lecturer) seems to like to call her name a lot. And this actually annoys me a lot (no offence Mr. Murali).

Carmen here, Carmen there, Are you okay Carmen? , what did I say Carmen?
‘False alarm, Kah Mun, he’s not calling you.’ That’s what I always tell myself after hearing him calling her. Reminding myself not to respond the false alarm that kept occurring in class as my friends kept laughing at me after that incident. But of course there is its pro as well such as being alert in class in case he called me to answer his question. In this way I can actually concentrate in my studies much better.

So is it better for him to continue calling Carmen or shouldn’t he start calling other students which their name also sound nice. I don’t know about this? What do you guys think?


Yours truly,

Chan Kah Mun

listen or hear? hmmm..

Do you listen more or hear more often?... Well.. For me. I kind of listen and later doze off into my own wonderland. Is it good? i bet not.

When my friends start coming up to me and they needed my help, the first thing i ever do is to listen to their 'complaints'. Is it that hard to just listen to them and emphatize them or maybe just sympatize them? Gosh.. it's a tough one for me... i admit i may not be a good listener but I'm still trying my best to improve myself. Maybe i should change my habits or maybe i should just tell my friends that they actually should find some other people to talk to better than me. Sigh..

Since I'm in human communication class, i guess i should just learn to be a good listener by following these simple steps like how Mr. Murali taught me by attending to what me speaker is speaking, then understand it, remember it, evaluating it then finally answer it. Isn't it easy? Hopefully!! Cheers!!



Yours sincerely,

Chan Kah Mun

Listening!!!

Listening IS very important!! I don't know how much this is going to be related but it has got to do with listening im sure!

Last semester for my Marketing mid-terms examination, Mr.Bill actually CLEARLY told us "for the mcq and true/false, write your answer on the left side of ur question paper ( as in where your question number is placed ). Some listened carefully to what he was saying and some of US didn't ! ( I was on of them !! aarghhh )

When the papers were given back to us, I saw my mcq answers NOT MARKED!!! and I lost more than 20 marks there!!! aarghhh!! In a state of ANGER, some approached Mr.Bill and asked why oh why?? Please give us our marks! (He did give us our marks later on after all => )

Ok my story is done=) My point HERE is that, LISTENING IS VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT!! any sort of listening. It not only helps you get stuff done the right way but it also makes the person who is talking to you HAPPY that you are listening to them!

Poor listening in ANY relationship can be bad as well!!

Amrit~!!

How hard isit?

HEY MATES!!
I came to notice today in my PR class that I don't do well in open Q&A sessions..

We had a wonderful speaker today, Mr Rajan from Ogilvy.
He was going around asking if there is any questions that he could answer...
With literally thousands of question in mind and a half-raised hand...
I got through that session with a disappointing outcome..
I somehow managed to NOT ask any question :(
What is wrong with me??
Why did I not have the bravery to ask him any questions?
Is it something our culture have influenced us?
cos all i saw was like 3 ppl asking him questions while half the class lowers their heads when Mr. Rajan looks around..

YOUR THOUGHTS? :)

Peace! Ian .

Different ways of communicating

Ask yourself this : Do you communicate to others the way YOU would want others to communicate back to you?

The way we communicate may seem fine to one person but to another it may seem rude and blunt which they might not like. It is impossible to satisfy the preference of every individual. But there is a thing where we talk with respect.

Between me and "him". People sometimes ask, "You two are so ALIKE. The way we talk, we argue, call each other names(not drastic heart breaking names!), and even bully one another. Despite it being in public or private. But we arn't able to talk this way to everyone.

I was at a wedding dinner last friday and there both OUR familes came. So we thought alright good chance for them to meet. As we were talking with other friends, as usual with the bullying, laughing our lungs out, and arguing, HIS mom came to our table where we were sitting, to meet ME. I was in a shocked state but my instant reaction was to great her in the MOST polite manner n to speak to her in the MOST lovable tone.
The rest of our friends who were at the table started laughing seeing my sudden behaviour change =)

My point here is that, our way of communication differs towards the different kind of people we are speaking to.

At the end of that day, his mom liked me=)

Amrit Kaur~!!

Love Communication

i dont know whether this story got to do with communication or not. but i guess it does coz this story is about blind couple and how do the relationship last after one incident.

well , this one happy couple had a talk in one fine evening.. the conversation goes like this..

girlfriend : I wish i can see the world...

boyfriend : How I wish I can help you with that , my sweetheart.. but if one day u have a chance to see the world and ME. Would you love me as much as you do now ?

girlfriend : Of course baby !

On the way back home , they had an accident. then , both of them are admitted.

After the operation and surgery , the girlfriend got to see the world as how she wishes. She really wants to see her boyfriend. Then , come this one blind guy..

blind guy : hey sweetheart , is your dream come true ?

girlfriend : are you my boyfriend??

blind guy : yes baby.

Then the girlfriend got shock and run away from the boyfriend. One day , the girlfriend received one letter and in that letter she smells the perfume of her ex boyfriend. The letter says

" Dear ex girlfriend , i know that you are enjoying your new life with your new eyes. I didnt ask much from you but all i want from you is PLEASE TAKE A VERY GOOD CARE OF MY EYES "

- The End -

Shazrul Izran B. Salehuddin (B0901402)

I communicate. Do you?

Recently, I have been very outgoing and spends most of my time outside.
But there is something that's been bothering me everyday.
Do i communicate with people appropriately?

I just came back from a small trip to Genting Highlands.
I went there for a purpose, well my private purpose..
And at the same time, meet with someone's family.
I did not show any signs of being nervous or whatever..

It's funny how we were suppose to meet someone's family at the peak of Genting, but turns out we actually bumped into them at a petrol station.
To be honest, I wasn't really prepared at that moment because I was planning to ready myself while on the way.
Turns out, everything was going well, they welcomed me pretty good, and I was happy to have met them.
During the trip, I managed to communicate pretty well with them and I am pretty sure they are happy with the way I act, talk etc etc.
Well, they are really nice people to be exact.

What I am trying to say is, If at that moment, I failed communicating properly with them, they might have many misunderstandings with me and therefore, cause a bad impression towards me.

P.s. I enjoyed the days with U and them.

Does any1 actually care??

we always greet others when we meet them...
but do we actually mean what we say?
when we say "how are you", do we really want to know? or do we just wanna break the ice?

even when we respond to this type of questions
do we actually care?
when we respond, do we actually thought about our answer?
has the response "fine" turned into a habit instead of an answer to a question?

jus smth i was thinking about..
now its smth for you to think about :)

XoXo, Ian :)

communication?

b4 i start my post, y does every1 have such long posts?? :)

this had happened a few days ago..
i was going through the usual thing on the internet.. hehe can't tell u what :).
and i ran into this joke..

A red head tells her blonde sister that she slept with a brazilian man! the blonde says : "OMG YOU SLUUT!! How many is a bazillion?"

haha and it got me thinking..
did i ever make the same mistake of listening?
do i always listen to what people have to say?
do i have a perception of someone that i talk to and does it influence what i hear?

XoXo, Ian (",)

Positive Perception !! Stay Healthy=)

Speaking about perception, it would mean how we make sense of the things around us. In other words, how we THINK and how we perceive the people and the world around us. Perception of someone could turn out good and even bad!

An example of myself:
When strangers around me meet me for the first time, their perception would be "she's a snob because she is keeping to herself and not talking to the others". AND that is the ONE and ONLY perception almost ALL my friends today had about me when they met me for the FIRST time. It has never changed till today. Like I said this is the perception. The honest truth is, im NOT a snob! Im actually a jovial person to the people who are close to me=) It's just that im not the "Hey guys!! Im Amrit.. You are?? ". This is a very bad thing I know I have in me, but I just can't help it. =(=( ( Ive tried!! I failed)

Therefore my point is, perception is always there in everyone. We just can't help it. It's human nature to percept something before they know and understand it. The only thing we could all TRY doing is, try being positive in your perception. When you think positively about something, it's being healthy=) Which is GREAT!! =)=)

~~Amrit Kaur Dhaliwal~~

Self Esteem~

Let's get started with the most basic question :

"What is Self-Esteem?"

Self-Esteem is is how we feel about ourselves. Self-esteem is also known as self-respect, self-liking, self-confidence, self-worth and the list goes on and on. In short, self-esteem has to do with how we believe others calue us and how competent we believe ourselves to be in managing our lives ( Roberts, 2002 )


The Effects of Positive Self-Esteem

Nevertheless, self-esteem is important in everyone's life. When we have positive self-esteem, we will feel extremely happy and joyful. We, too will enter a new situation with optimism and will not be pulled back from any situations. Besides that, we will be able to list out constructive goals that we would wish to accomplish in our lives and we'll be proud of ourselves when we managed to accomplish them. We, definitely will not even be bothered by those negative thoughts and worries that appear every single minute. Moreover, we will always be enthusiastic to learn new things and to gain new knowledge. If we run into difficulties, we will not give up easily after one or 2 tries. If what we have done results in negative situations, we will never tell ourselves that " I'm so freaking useless" , instead we'll simply '' go back to the drawing board".

The Effects of Negative Self-Esteem

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to feel depressed, hopeless, left out and inferior towards others easily. We will exaggerate the lowness of our abilities and believe that we're worthless to others. Besides that, we tend to minimize the compliments we received to something worthless. For instance, " It's really nothing big at all." We will feel reluctant to enter new situations and will think that " I can't do this thing....." Whenever we felt that we're unable to cope up with the surroundings, we tend to reject other people's offer as we felt defensive towards their kindness. Lastly, people with low self-esteem tend to blame others for their wrongs in their lives.

The Author,
Yin Jun

self-esteem?... hmmm.. boost the self-confidence babe!!

mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?...
why do people need self-esteem?.. is self-esteem that important? how important could it be? will it affect the way we behave?

being here in this materialistic world is tough. we are in the sea full of competitors. that's why having a high self-esteem does help us to survive is this god forsaken world.

my self-esteem used to real LOW... you can say that i was a perfetionist in every single way. and it is never easy for me because not a single thing for me gives me satisfactory. NONE!!!! and this is all because i don have my self-esteem.

when i was in form 4, i have lots of friends... friends who are smart, not so smart, pretty, ok looking, rude, shy, show off, and etc. but i was much more closer with the smart ones. it is not because i was close to them of them being smart or clever. but is the connection. we just seem to have really good connection when we talk and share lots of thing together.

trouble starts when examinations are just around the corner. my friends and i studied hard for the exams. things seem to be ok at first eventhough i felt the pressure that my parents gave me. soon the results were out, i realize that my results weren't as good as my friends. they got straight a1 and as for me, a couple of a and b. i kept wondering, how did i get this kind of result when we studied the hard together and discussed the same topic together. i didn't understand.

that is when i started comparing myself with them. physically and mentally. they are tall, slim, smart, clever, pretty, and etc. but what about me?.. why am i not like them? why can't i just be like them. is that so hard to ask from god?. i mean god could just do anything with a blink of an eye isn't it?

soon trial exmination came. i studied so hard and even burning midnight oil just to ensure that i can do as great as them. i do my very best during the exams. i make sure i read the questions properly, answer with a complete sentence, double check my work when i had extra time, make sure that i answered every singel question and prayed to god. i will do anything just to get my good results, to be as excellent as my friends. but i failed. my goal wasn't achieved. i was devastated.

i know it sounds pretty silly but i cried almost everyday because of that. friends would ask me why i had swollen eyes, instead of sharing my problems with them i deny that nothing was wrong with me and it was just a lack of sleep. that's all. knowing that i cannot compete with them, well, at least i can be as slim as them. so i went on diet. i started skipping my meals. drink only plain water. eat only fresh fruits and vegetables. day by day i was getting weaker. i knew that i need to have my carbs but i was just too stubborn to listen to my body. 'thin' is the word that i need to achieve.

later, my body couldn't take it anymore and i just collapsed. as soon as i woke up, i was in the hospital, lying helplessly on the bed with my very dear family and friends looking worried at me. i had to show them that there was nothing wrong with me. i don't need the attention. i don't need them to pity me. but i knew that i can't hide my secret anymore ( doctors are smart enough what is wrong with me).

i was right. the doctor knew and he told my family about it that my body don't have enough nutrients and if my body still gets insufficient nutrients or is just too stubborn to eat. i will be aneroxic. to me at that time, aneroxic seemed to be a nice word to hear, because it means that i had reached my goal. hooray!!! as soon as i gathered my strength, i went to the mirror to see how actually an aneroxic look like. i was shocked i don havethe body that i used to have. it's all skin and bones. how am i going to wear the dress that i just bought for prom?. i looked DARN ugly. i just don have the womenly curve that i used to have. i went back to my bed and i was astonished to see few strands of my hair on the pillow.. i never had this much of hair falling off!! the symptoms were really scary. at that time my friends jokingly said where were my ass?... those curve just POOF!!! they told that i scared the hell out of them. they noticed that i was really quiet thsi few months and don't really see me in the canteen whenever we had recess.

'be who you are, don't change what god had created you, be greatful for who you are' those were the words that my friends adviced me. i can't disappoint my friends. i had disappoint them a lot, but not this time. they have done a lot of things for me already. i had already give them enough trouble. and for my own good and health i have to come back to my healthy lifestyle that i used to have.

i start eating healthyly again. going for a swim and jog twice a week. studying with my friends again. and most of all going to church with my friends again. learning that god does things with his own means and reasons. therefore i must learn to adapt and learn to accept the way i am because god create us in his own image. cheers to that one



yours truly'

carmen chan

Effective Communication

Contrary to ineffective communication, effective communication is direct. It gets to the point and leaves very little if nothing for interpretation. Effective communication is not passive or timid instead it is assertive in terms of its purpose.

Ambiguity is nonexistent and the issues or messages are clear. When effective communication is employed couples do not have trouble communicating their thoughts, desires and feelings with their partners in a clear and open manner. They are able to express their opinions clearly and get straight to the point while remaining on topic.

The often tempting but harsh habit of going off into a tangent should be avoided and only pertinent details are elaborated. Effective communication operates under the assumption that the partner is grasping what they are trying to say.

5 Love and communication in relationships work hand in hand. Communication in a relationship becomes essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. In the end, if one seeks to retain the relationship, it is up to the couple to communicate effectively so that love can indeed blossom and stay strong.

- Shazrul Izran B. Salehuddin (B090402)

self-disclose?... hmmm.. think twice?

To self-disclose with your listeners is pretty easy. But what if your listeners cannot be trusted?.. tough question isn't? you may tell the whole world about your whole life, what you're going through, who your just fall in love, who broke your heart, and etc. But who is it that really care about your situation and who will actually help you solve it and who will actually stand by your side when you cannot stand by your own?... thank god i have a friend, no wait, my best friend who is always there for me whenever, whatever and no matter what...

i have been friends with her since form three. When i am in love, having family problems, friend problem and anything in the world that i wish to share it with her, she will be first on my list. By the way let's just called her yp shall we?

obviously we met each other at our secondary school. she transferred to my school when we were form two. it's undeniable that you can't pay attention to her because she very pretty (i am not lesbian), she's extremely fair (you don't get to see extremely fair people in your life often do you?). well, she was kind of quiet in class, obedient, and shy (what do you expect, she's new!). i wasn't close to her when i was in form two. our friendship started only when we were both in form three when both of us are librarians.

Yp was having her duty with the same day that i had mine. a person like me who has interpersonal skills don't just wait for friends to fall out from the sky and make friends just like that. i make friends by using my effort to talk to people, making them feel comfortable in my presence and etc. so i talk to her and i didn't know that we can get along so well that we started talking about things from a to z,(unbelievable right?), hang out with her during our recess time, study together after school, gossip together, you name it we have done it (of course not negative things).

telling her my problems make me realize that i am not the only one who is facing troubles and that god is so unfair to me. it seems that her problems are more in a dilemma compared to mine. problems that her family are not there to support her whenever she needed them to do so, to be happy when she gets good grades for her exams, and she has to support her own expenses. working at pavilion when she had school holidays just to pay for her tuition fees and giving it to her hopeless parents that do not earn money for her education.

as her friend. i lend some of my expenses to her as well. i don't know how to help her. but i will try my best in every way to help her as she will try in every way to help me. she's my friend that i trust the most, depend on the most, enjoy the most with, and she make me realize how lucky i am to be her friend (well she will definately say the same the thing about me).

so for me, having a self-disclosure with a listener must always be someone you are close with, someone you can trust, someone who you can depend on and someone who is there with you whenever, wherever, and no matter what. so cheers!!!!!

yours truly,

carmen chan

the history of communication

The history of human communication had start long time ago.It was started with speech about 200,000 years ago then follow by symbols which were developed about 30,000 years ago and lastly follow by writing which is 7,000 years ago.


-Shazrul Izran B. Salehuddin (B0901402)

Self-Esteem

As we all know self concept is basically about what we think and feel about ourselves. Self-esteem is about the same but in a deeper context.

One's self-esteem could be a good one or even a bad one ofcourse.

A good one: When your self-esteem is good, you tend to be able to respect yourself and ofcourse the people around you which is a good thing. High self-esteem can also mend relationships that are hanging.

HOWEVER !!!! With low power of control on yourselves, it could be battered within seconds and BAMMM!!!! your self-esteem now becomes LOW SELF-ESTEEM !!!

A bad one: It can cause you to fall into depression, you wouldn't be handling critism from the outer world very easily, every little comment even like "hey! you look tired today, didn't you sleep well" would make you feel as if the whole world around you is watching you and at that point it's BAD BAD BAD for you !!!!

I've gotten in a minor drop of my self-esteem a year ago where I had stopped talking like how I always do to the people around me(not for long, maybe about 2 months). That was when i read the book, The Secret! GREAT book!! I realised that what is happening around us is only because we think about it too much!

When we think positive, the universe responds positively towards us and vice versa.

Therefore my point on self-esteem here is that, when we tend to have problems in our lives, just take a moment and think CALMLY. Do not let your self-esteem get battered as that's a very bad thing! It's like if u hate 'vegetables', LOW self-esteem is VEGETABLES!! Stay away from it. Everything that happens around us is NOT fate. YOU write your own future. YOU lead your own future. NOONE does that for YOU=)=)

Yours Truly,
Amrit=)

Self-Disclosure : Heaven or Hell?

I am pretty sure that you guys are familiar with this term " Self-Disclosure"
but how many of you actually self-disclosed before and what do you get in return after you self disclose yourself?
Based on my experiences, I think Self-Disclosure is more to Hell,rather than Heaven
or perhaps I have chosen the wrong group of friends to disclose myself.

Back in my secondary school,
I used to be so damn freaking close to this girl, J
Well, I was close to her ever since I'm in primary school
but things get complicated when we entered secondary school
I got no clue on why other girls were prejudice towards her
even thought we did like lesser than nothing to harm them ( I'm from all-girls-school btw)
and you all should have guessed out what a typical best friend would do right?
Supported her as if she's your goddess or whatsoever.
and Trusted her as if she's the only friend of mine
So, I am always there for her,no matter what happened
We used to self disclose to each other whenever it is necessary
and that's my biggest regret ever
I swear! = ="

Early Form 4, we got separated because she chose to enter Arts class while I went for Science
and we merely even talked to each other
as she found her new friends there and we're in the different class
Things were fine until one day
when I entered the school compound and everyone was looking at me
as if I'm from Mars or whatever
Not being too paranoid, everyone was actually giving me the look of despise
Feeling weird,
I managed to grab one of my friends and yeah..she told me that
J had spilled like..60% of what I disclosed to her?
I was like..." OmFg?! "
It was so freaking embarrassed and I don't even know how should I face my other friends throughout the whole year
Fortunately, I still have friends who backed me up and they don't mind on those rumors spread by J

At that time, I really felt like..ruined as in my image was ruined and others looked at me differently.
Even though I still have some couple of friends who were always there for me,
It was super hurtful and I really wished that I could stab that girl with my own hands XD
After that day, our friendship went OFF permanently and until now,
I did not take the initiative to even talk to her
and when I saw her, I just acted as if she's made of glass

So,I remind you guys
If you wanna self-disclose, make sure that the friend or relatives of yours are TRUSTWORTHY
else you'll end up regretting like how I used to be- -"

and once again, I'll stick to my statement of :
"Self-Disclosure is HELL rather than Heaven"
until I managed to find someone who could change my perception on this matter.

Yours Truly,
Yin Jun

Self Disclosure? Nah...Hmm.. Ok maybe..

Hello,
If you ever bypass this post, then answer this.

Do you feel better after self disclosing to anyone u trust or trusted before?

IF
You answered Yes, then congratulations!
(You feel that by doing that, letting people know your "dark/bright" secrets makes you happier and less stress.)

IF
You answered NO, then congratulations to you too!
(You feel the world and the people living in this world is hard to trust which is kinda true but does not apply all the time. Therefore, "dark/bright" secrets are better off known the 1 person which is U!)

To be honest, I am the No type.
Based on experience, my dark/bright secrets have been spread widely among the people I know.
*this was last time*

Self disclosing is good and bad in it's own way.
Let's put it this way,
IF
You want to self disclose to anyone in this world,
Do it, but try not to tell people something about You which is really private and confidential as You will never know the consequences unless It really happened to you.
So....
*cheers*

-Aiden Yau Ga Weng-

testing2..