communication is not as easy as it seems...

There are actually two ways to communicate which is verbal and non-verbal. What I am I going to talk about today is eye communication which is one of the non-verbal communication.

Well, the messages communicated by the eyes diverge depending on the direction, duration and quality of the eye behaviour. For example, the duration that we can look into one’s eye must not exceed 2.95 seconds. If we exceed the duration, we are considered rude or showing high interest or even hostility. However, for some other culture like the Japanese culture, they must not have eye contact with someone who is more superior or elder. Moreover, when eye contact falls short of 1.18 seconds, some cultures may think the person is uninterested, timid or preoccupied.

But what if we just cannot focus on the speaker even though we are actually listening to them? Well, I do actually face this kind of problem. I just could not keep eye contact with the speaker for long. There is people actually who come up to me and tell me whether I am still listening to them or did I lose interest in their conversation. I mean, I know that making eye contact is vital but it is not as easy as you think. Imagine yourself making eye contact with someone who talks for at least 10 minutes talking about his or her problem and they actually expect you to give eye contact and keep track on their conversation for that 10 minutes. It’s tough, really tough for me. I mean I can only listen to them how long they want me to but the eye contact, that’s impossible.

So, for those out there who actually think that having eye contact is easy, good for you but for me, I have to brush up in my non-verbal communication. Because without a perfect eye contact, people will actually think that I do not respect them and those respect will not return if I continue to behave in that circumstances.

Yours truly,
Chan Kah Mun