Think before YOU act.

I have this friend..
He fell in love, like very in love.
He told me he thinks about her everyday, every second and so on so forth..
Sigh..
He claims that the girl is very different from any other girl in this world.

He wants to get into the relationship, but he also though about other issues like whether he will actually commit in the relationship or not.
Other than that, he is also afraid of making the first move which is to talk to her.
Well he did, he knocked on the window of a class and asked her for her number.
She just smiled and gave the "no" expression..
Well he was sad, sad until he starts singing love songs in the car.

What I am trying to say is, Do not rush things, think before you act and make sure there are no misunderstandings at all between you and your friends etc etc.

-Aiden Yau Ga Weng-
*cheers*

Kah Mun? Carmen? Huh?

Have you ever had someone who has the same name or the same pronunciation like yours? Well, I do and I’m apparently sick and tired of it. Kah mun or Carmen it doesn’t matter to me anymore because I acknowledge to both. The worst thing is that my name is just so unbelievably common. Believe it or not, every year I will always have at least another ‘Carmen’ in my class. Well, apparently there’s another ‘Carmen’ in my human communication class. The funny thing is that Mr. Murali (my human communication lecturer) seems to like to call her name a lot. And this actually annoys me a lot (no offence Mr. Murali).

Carmen here, Carmen there, Are you okay Carmen? , what did I say Carmen?
‘False alarm, Kah Mun, he’s not calling you.’ That’s what I always tell myself after hearing him calling her. Reminding myself not to respond the false alarm that kept occurring in class as my friends kept laughing at me after that incident. But of course there is its pro as well such as being alert in class in case he called me to answer his question. In this way I can actually concentrate in my studies much better.

So is it better for him to continue calling Carmen or shouldn’t he start calling other students which their name also sound nice. I don’t know about this? What do you guys think?


Yours truly,

Chan Kah Mun

listen or hear? hmmm..

Do you listen more or hear more often?... Well.. For me. I kind of listen and later doze off into my own wonderland. Is it good? i bet not.

When my friends start coming up to me and they needed my help, the first thing i ever do is to listen to their 'complaints'. Is it that hard to just listen to them and emphatize them or maybe just sympatize them? Gosh.. it's a tough one for me... i admit i may not be a good listener but I'm still trying my best to improve myself. Maybe i should change my habits or maybe i should just tell my friends that they actually should find some other people to talk to better than me. Sigh..

Since I'm in human communication class, i guess i should just learn to be a good listener by following these simple steps like how Mr. Murali taught me by attending to what me speaker is speaking, then understand it, remember it, evaluating it then finally answer it. Isn't it easy? Hopefully!! Cheers!!



Yours sincerely,

Chan Kah Mun

Listening!!!

Listening IS very important!! I don't know how much this is going to be related but it has got to do with listening im sure!

Last semester for my Marketing mid-terms examination, Mr.Bill actually CLEARLY told us "for the mcq and true/false, write your answer on the left side of ur question paper ( as in where your question number is placed ). Some listened carefully to what he was saying and some of US didn't ! ( I was on of them !! aarghhh )

When the papers were given back to us, I saw my mcq answers NOT MARKED!!! and I lost more than 20 marks there!!! aarghhh!! In a state of ANGER, some approached Mr.Bill and asked why oh why?? Please give us our marks! (He did give us our marks later on after all => )

Ok my story is done=) My point HERE is that, LISTENING IS VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT!! any sort of listening. It not only helps you get stuff done the right way but it also makes the person who is talking to you HAPPY that you are listening to them!

Poor listening in ANY relationship can be bad as well!!

Amrit~!!

How hard isit?

HEY MATES!!
I came to notice today in my PR class that I don't do well in open Q&A sessions..

We had a wonderful speaker today, Mr Rajan from Ogilvy.
He was going around asking if there is any questions that he could answer...
With literally thousands of question in mind and a half-raised hand...
I got through that session with a disappointing outcome..
I somehow managed to NOT ask any question :(
What is wrong with me??
Why did I not have the bravery to ask him any questions?
Is it something our culture have influenced us?
cos all i saw was like 3 ppl asking him questions while half the class lowers their heads when Mr. Rajan looks around..

YOUR THOUGHTS? :)

Peace! Ian .

Different ways of communicating

Ask yourself this : Do you communicate to others the way YOU would want others to communicate back to you?

The way we communicate may seem fine to one person but to another it may seem rude and blunt which they might not like. It is impossible to satisfy the preference of every individual. But there is a thing where we talk with respect.

Between me and "him". People sometimes ask, "You two are so ALIKE. The way we talk, we argue, call each other names(not drastic heart breaking names!), and even bully one another. Despite it being in public or private. But we arn't able to talk this way to everyone.

I was at a wedding dinner last friday and there both OUR familes came. So we thought alright good chance for them to meet. As we were talking with other friends, as usual with the bullying, laughing our lungs out, and arguing, HIS mom came to our table where we were sitting, to meet ME. I was in a shocked state but my instant reaction was to great her in the MOST polite manner n to speak to her in the MOST lovable tone.
The rest of our friends who were at the table started laughing seeing my sudden behaviour change =)

My point here is that, our way of communication differs towards the different kind of people we are speaking to.

At the end of that day, his mom liked me=)

Amrit Kaur~!!

Love Communication

i dont know whether this story got to do with communication or not. but i guess it does coz this story is about blind couple and how do the relationship last after one incident.

well , this one happy couple had a talk in one fine evening.. the conversation goes like this..

girlfriend : I wish i can see the world...

boyfriend : How I wish I can help you with that , my sweetheart.. but if one day u have a chance to see the world and ME. Would you love me as much as you do now ?

girlfriend : Of course baby !

On the way back home , they had an accident. then , both of them are admitted.

After the operation and surgery , the girlfriend got to see the world as how she wishes. She really wants to see her boyfriend. Then , come this one blind guy..

blind guy : hey sweetheart , is your dream come true ?

girlfriend : are you my boyfriend??

blind guy : yes baby.

Then the girlfriend got shock and run away from the boyfriend. One day , the girlfriend received one letter and in that letter she smells the perfume of her ex boyfriend. The letter says

" Dear ex girlfriend , i know that you are enjoying your new life with your new eyes. I didnt ask much from you but all i want from you is PLEASE TAKE A VERY GOOD CARE OF MY EYES "

- The End -

Shazrul Izran B. Salehuddin (B0901402)

I communicate. Do you?

Recently, I have been very outgoing and spends most of my time outside.
But there is something that's been bothering me everyday.
Do i communicate with people appropriately?

I just came back from a small trip to Genting Highlands.
I went there for a purpose, well my private purpose..
And at the same time, meet with someone's family.
I did not show any signs of being nervous or whatever..

It's funny how we were suppose to meet someone's family at the peak of Genting, but turns out we actually bumped into them at a petrol station.
To be honest, I wasn't really prepared at that moment because I was planning to ready myself while on the way.
Turns out, everything was going well, they welcomed me pretty good, and I was happy to have met them.
During the trip, I managed to communicate pretty well with them and I am pretty sure they are happy with the way I act, talk etc etc.
Well, they are really nice people to be exact.

What I am trying to say is, If at that moment, I failed communicating properly with them, they might have many misunderstandings with me and therefore, cause a bad impression towards me.

P.s. I enjoyed the days with U and them.

Does any1 actually care??

we always greet others when we meet them...
but do we actually mean what we say?
when we say "how are you", do we really want to know? or do we just wanna break the ice?

even when we respond to this type of questions
do we actually care?
when we respond, do we actually thought about our answer?
has the response "fine" turned into a habit instead of an answer to a question?

jus smth i was thinking about..
now its smth for you to think about :)

XoXo, Ian :)

communication?

b4 i start my post, y does every1 have such long posts?? :)

this had happened a few days ago..
i was going through the usual thing on the internet.. hehe can't tell u what :).
and i ran into this joke..

A red head tells her blonde sister that she slept with a brazilian man! the blonde says : "OMG YOU SLUUT!! How many is a bazillion?"

haha and it got me thinking..
did i ever make the same mistake of listening?
do i always listen to what people have to say?
do i have a perception of someone that i talk to and does it influence what i hear?

XoXo, Ian (",)

Positive Perception !! Stay Healthy=)

Speaking about perception, it would mean how we make sense of the things around us. In other words, how we THINK and how we perceive the people and the world around us. Perception of someone could turn out good and even bad!

An example of myself:
When strangers around me meet me for the first time, their perception would be "she's a snob because she is keeping to herself and not talking to the others". AND that is the ONE and ONLY perception almost ALL my friends today had about me when they met me for the FIRST time. It has never changed till today. Like I said this is the perception. The honest truth is, im NOT a snob! Im actually a jovial person to the people who are close to me=) It's just that im not the "Hey guys!! Im Amrit.. You are?? ". This is a very bad thing I know I have in me, but I just can't help it. =(=( ( Ive tried!! I failed)

Therefore my point is, perception is always there in everyone. We just can't help it. It's human nature to percept something before they know and understand it. The only thing we could all TRY doing is, try being positive in your perception. When you think positively about something, it's being healthy=) Which is GREAT!! =)=)

~~Amrit Kaur Dhaliwal~~

Self Esteem~

Let's get started with the most basic question :

"What is Self-Esteem?"

Self-Esteem is is how we feel about ourselves. Self-esteem is also known as self-respect, self-liking, self-confidence, self-worth and the list goes on and on. In short, self-esteem has to do with how we believe others calue us and how competent we believe ourselves to be in managing our lives ( Roberts, 2002 )


The Effects of Positive Self-Esteem

Nevertheless, self-esteem is important in everyone's life. When we have positive self-esteem, we will feel extremely happy and joyful. We, too will enter a new situation with optimism and will not be pulled back from any situations. Besides that, we will be able to list out constructive goals that we would wish to accomplish in our lives and we'll be proud of ourselves when we managed to accomplish them. We, definitely will not even be bothered by those negative thoughts and worries that appear every single minute. Moreover, we will always be enthusiastic to learn new things and to gain new knowledge. If we run into difficulties, we will not give up easily after one or 2 tries. If what we have done results in negative situations, we will never tell ourselves that " I'm so freaking useless" , instead we'll simply '' go back to the drawing board".

The Effects of Negative Self-Esteem

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to feel depressed, hopeless, left out and inferior towards others easily. We will exaggerate the lowness of our abilities and believe that we're worthless to others. Besides that, we tend to minimize the compliments we received to something worthless. For instance, " It's really nothing big at all." We will feel reluctant to enter new situations and will think that " I can't do this thing....." Whenever we felt that we're unable to cope up with the surroundings, we tend to reject other people's offer as we felt defensive towards their kindness. Lastly, people with low self-esteem tend to blame others for their wrongs in their lives.

The Author,
Yin Jun

self-esteem?... hmmm.. boost the self-confidence babe!!

mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?...
why do people need self-esteem?.. is self-esteem that important? how important could it be? will it affect the way we behave?

being here in this materialistic world is tough. we are in the sea full of competitors. that's why having a high self-esteem does help us to survive is this god forsaken world.

my self-esteem used to real LOW... you can say that i was a perfetionist in every single way. and it is never easy for me because not a single thing for me gives me satisfactory. NONE!!!! and this is all because i don have my self-esteem.

when i was in form 4, i have lots of friends... friends who are smart, not so smart, pretty, ok looking, rude, shy, show off, and etc. but i was much more closer with the smart ones. it is not because i was close to them of them being smart or clever. but is the connection. we just seem to have really good connection when we talk and share lots of thing together.

trouble starts when examinations are just around the corner. my friends and i studied hard for the exams. things seem to be ok at first eventhough i felt the pressure that my parents gave me. soon the results were out, i realize that my results weren't as good as my friends. they got straight a1 and as for me, a couple of a and b. i kept wondering, how did i get this kind of result when we studied the hard together and discussed the same topic together. i didn't understand.

that is when i started comparing myself with them. physically and mentally. they are tall, slim, smart, clever, pretty, and etc. but what about me?.. why am i not like them? why can't i just be like them. is that so hard to ask from god?. i mean god could just do anything with a blink of an eye isn't it?

soon trial exmination came. i studied so hard and even burning midnight oil just to ensure that i can do as great as them. i do my very best during the exams. i make sure i read the questions properly, answer with a complete sentence, double check my work when i had extra time, make sure that i answered every singel question and prayed to god. i will do anything just to get my good results, to be as excellent as my friends. but i failed. my goal wasn't achieved. i was devastated.

i know it sounds pretty silly but i cried almost everyday because of that. friends would ask me why i had swollen eyes, instead of sharing my problems with them i deny that nothing was wrong with me and it was just a lack of sleep. that's all. knowing that i cannot compete with them, well, at least i can be as slim as them. so i went on diet. i started skipping my meals. drink only plain water. eat only fresh fruits and vegetables. day by day i was getting weaker. i knew that i need to have my carbs but i was just too stubborn to listen to my body. 'thin' is the word that i need to achieve.

later, my body couldn't take it anymore and i just collapsed. as soon as i woke up, i was in the hospital, lying helplessly on the bed with my very dear family and friends looking worried at me. i had to show them that there was nothing wrong with me. i don't need the attention. i don't need them to pity me. but i knew that i can't hide my secret anymore ( doctors are smart enough what is wrong with me).

i was right. the doctor knew and he told my family about it that my body don't have enough nutrients and if my body still gets insufficient nutrients or is just too stubborn to eat. i will be aneroxic. to me at that time, aneroxic seemed to be a nice word to hear, because it means that i had reached my goal. hooray!!! as soon as i gathered my strength, i went to the mirror to see how actually an aneroxic look like. i was shocked i don havethe body that i used to have. it's all skin and bones. how am i going to wear the dress that i just bought for prom?. i looked DARN ugly. i just don have the womenly curve that i used to have. i went back to my bed and i was astonished to see few strands of my hair on the pillow.. i never had this much of hair falling off!! the symptoms were really scary. at that time my friends jokingly said where were my ass?... those curve just POOF!!! they told that i scared the hell out of them. they noticed that i was really quiet thsi few months and don't really see me in the canteen whenever we had recess.

'be who you are, don't change what god had created you, be greatful for who you are' those were the words that my friends adviced me. i can't disappoint my friends. i had disappoint them a lot, but not this time. they have done a lot of things for me already. i had already give them enough trouble. and for my own good and health i have to come back to my healthy lifestyle that i used to have.

i start eating healthyly again. going for a swim and jog twice a week. studying with my friends again. and most of all going to church with my friends again. learning that god does things with his own means and reasons. therefore i must learn to adapt and learn to accept the way i am because god create us in his own image. cheers to that one



yours truly'

carmen chan

Effective Communication

Contrary to ineffective communication, effective communication is direct. It gets to the point and leaves very little if nothing for interpretation. Effective communication is not passive or timid instead it is assertive in terms of its purpose.

Ambiguity is nonexistent and the issues or messages are clear. When effective communication is employed couples do not have trouble communicating their thoughts, desires and feelings with their partners in a clear and open manner. They are able to express their opinions clearly and get straight to the point while remaining on topic.

The often tempting but harsh habit of going off into a tangent should be avoided and only pertinent details are elaborated. Effective communication operates under the assumption that the partner is grasping what they are trying to say.

5 Love and communication in relationships work hand in hand. Communication in a relationship becomes essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. In the end, if one seeks to retain the relationship, it is up to the couple to communicate effectively so that love can indeed blossom and stay strong.

- Shazrul Izran B. Salehuddin (B090402)

self-disclose?... hmmm.. think twice?

To self-disclose with your listeners is pretty easy. But what if your listeners cannot be trusted?.. tough question isn't? you may tell the whole world about your whole life, what you're going through, who your just fall in love, who broke your heart, and etc. But who is it that really care about your situation and who will actually help you solve it and who will actually stand by your side when you cannot stand by your own?... thank god i have a friend, no wait, my best friend who is always there for me whenever, whatever and no matter what...

i have been friends with her since form three. When i am in love, having family problems, friend problem and anything in the world that i wish to share it with her, she will be first on my list. By the way let's just called her yp shall we?

obviously we met each other at our secondary school. she transferred to my school when we were form two. it's undeniable that you can't pay attention to her because she very pretty (i am not lesbian), she's extremely fair (you don't get to see extremely fair people in your life often do you?). well, she was kind of quiet in class, obedient, and shy (what do you expect, she's new!). i wasn't close to her when i was in form two. our friendship started only when we were both in form three when both of us are librarians.

Yp was having her duty with the same day that i had mine. a person like me who has interpersonal skills don't just wait for friends to fall out from the sky and make friends just like that. i make friends by using my effort to talk to people, making them feel comfortable in my presence and etc. so i talk to her and i didn't know that we can get along so well that we started talking about things from a to z,(unbelievable right?), hang out with her during our recess time, study together after school, gossip together, you name it we have done it (of course not negative things).

telling her my problems make me realize that i am not the only one who is facing troubles and that god is so unfair to me. it seems that her problems are more in a dilemma compared to mine. problems that her family are not there to support her whenever she needed them to do so, to be happy when she gets good grades for her exams, and she has to support her own expenses. working at pavilion when she had school holidays just to pay for her tuition fees and giving it to her hopeless parents that do not earn money for her education.

as her friend. i lend some of my expenses to her as well. i don't know how to help her. but i will try my best in every way to help her as she will try in every way to help me. she's my friend that i trust the most, depend on the most, enjoy the most with, and she make me realize how lucky i am to be her friend (well she will definately say the same the thing about me).

so for me, having a self-disclosure with a listener must always be someone you are close with, someone you can trust, someone who you can depend on and someone who is there with you whenever, wherever, and no matter what. so cheers!!!!!

yours truly,

carmen chan

the history of communication

The history of human communication had start long time ago.It was started with speech about 200,000 years ago then follow by symbols which were developed about 30,000 years ago and lastly follow by writing which is 7,000 years ago.


-Shazrul Izran B. Salehuddin (B0901402)

Self-Esteem

As we all know self concept is basically about what we think and feel about ourselves. Self-esteem is about the same but in a deeper context.

One's self-esteem could be a good one or even a bad one ofcourse.

A good one: When your self-esteem is good, you tend to be able to respect yourself and ofcourse the people around you which is a good thing. High self-esteem can also mend relationships that are hanging.

HOWEVER !!!! With low power of control on yourselves, it could be battered within seconds and BAMMM!!!! your self-esteem now becomes LOW SELF-ESTEEM !!!

A bad one: It can cause you to fall into depression, you wouldn't be handling critism from the outer world very easily, every little comment even like "hey! you look tired today, didn't you sleep well" would make you feel as if the whole world around you is watching you and at that point it's BAD BAD BAD for you !!!!

I've gotten in a minor drop of my self-esteem a year ago where I had stopped talking like how I always do to the people around me(not for long, maybe about 2 months). That was when i read the book, The Secret! GREAT book!! I realised that what is happening around us is only because we think about it too much!

When we think positive, the universe responds positively towards us and vice versa.

Therefore my point on self-esteem here is that, when we tend to have problems in our lives, just take a moment and think CALMLY. Do not let your self-esteem get battered as that's a very bad thing! It's like if u hate 'vegetables', LOW self-esteem is VEGETABLES!! Stay away from it. Everything that happens around us is NOT fate. YOU write your own future. YOU lead your own future. NOONE does that for YOU=)=)

Yours Truly,
Amrit=)

Self-Disclosure : Heaven or Hell?

I am pretty sure that you guys are familiar with this term " Self-Disclosure"
but how many of you actually self-disclosed before and what do you get in return after you self disclose yourself?
Based on my experiences, I think Self-Disclosure is more to Hell,rather than Heaven
or perhaps I have chosen the wrong group of friends to disclose myself.

Back in my secondary school,
I used to be so damn freaking close to this girl, J
Well, I was close to her ever since I'm in primary school
but things get complicated when we entered secondary school
I got no clue on why other girls were prejudice towards her
even thought we did like lesser than nothing to harm them ( I'm from all-girls-school btw)
and you all should have guessed out what a typical best friend would do right?
Supported her as if she's your goddess or whatsoever.
and Trusted her as if she's the only friend of mine
So, I am always there for her,no matter what happened
We used to self disclose to each other whenever it is necessary
and that's my biggest regret ever
I swear! = ="

Early Form 4, we got separated because she chose to enter Arts class while I went for Science
and we merely even talked to each other
as she found her new friends there and we're in the different class
Things were fine until one day
when I entered the school compound and everyone was looking at me
as if I'm from Mars or whatever
Not being too paranoid, everyone was actually giving me the look of despise
Feeling weird,
I managed to grab one of my friends and yeah..she told me that
J had spilled like..60% of what I disclosed to her?
I was like..." OmFg?! "
It was so freaking embarrassed and I don't even know how should I face my other friends throughout the whole year
Fortunately, I still have friends who backed me up and they don't mind on those rumors spread by J

At that time, I really felt like..ruined as in my image was ruined and others looked at me differently.
Even though I still have some couple of friends who were always there for me,
It was super hurtful and I really wished that I could stab that girl with my own hands XD
After that day, our friendship went OFF permanently and until now,
I did not take the initiative to even talk to her
and when I saw her, I just acted as if she's made of glass

So,I remind you guys
If you wanna self-disclose, make sure that the friend or relatives of yours are TRUSTWORTHY
else you'll end up regretting like how I used to be- -"

and once again, I'll stick to my statement of :
"Self-Disclosure is HELL rather than Heaven"
until I managed to find someone who could change my perception on this matter.

Yours Truly,
Yin Jun

Self Disclosure? Nah...Hmm.. Ok maybe..

Hello,
If you ever bypass this post, then answer this.

Do you feel better after self disclosing to anyone u trust or trusted before?

IF
You answered Yes, then congratulations!
(You feel that by doing that, letting people know your "dark/bright" secrets makes you happier and less stress.)

IF
You answered NO, then congratulations to you too!
(You feel the world and the people living in this world is hard to trust which is kinda true but does not apply all the time. Therefore, "dark/bright" secrets are better off known the 1 person which is U!)

To be honest, I am the No type.
Based on experience, my dark/bright secrets have been spread widely among the people I know.
*this was last time*

Self disclosing is good and bad in it's own way.
Let's put it this way,
IF
You want to self disclose to anyone in this world,
Do it, but try not to tell people something about You which is really private and confidential as You will never know the consequences unless It really happened to you.
So....
*cheers*

-Aiden Yau Ga Weng-

testing2..